Rapturous Romance
by GeorgeMcFlurry
Summary: The extravagantly sensual tale of our good lord Jesus and the fiery fiend Satan.
1. Chapter 1: rebule

"jessus cleen the dog" sez godd angry

"dad i dont want 2" sez jessus cuz hes a rebeluos teen

"jessus im not afrad 2 kick u the fuk out" tretens godd

jessus givs a midel finger (and not evin hafway) "go ahed u suck anyway"

godd scrams and cris and thros jessus away like a trash

Autors note - no i havent red the bible book but i saw a movie so i thik i can do a ok fanfic also my dad told me everytheng that hapins prety much


	2. Chapter 2: firt meeting

satin was bein emo donwn in hill whar he lived

than a wild jessus apered

"omg wtf" sez satin emoly

"owwwwwwwww" sed jessus cuz godd kiked him hardly

"ur godds kid! i hat him so hardly" satin sez angry

"same tho" sed jessus and they doa bro hug

"wanna liv in hill" satin askss "i hav tortured emo soles"

"omg rip im so rebeluos i wud lik to turn emo" sez jessus and they start there rebeluos emo together


	3. Chaper 3: gettin to frends

"so jessus tell me abot urself" sez satin, givin him the emo eye over there food

jessus choks on a food pece "ou um im jessus crisp, im turnig 2015 on chrismes and im godds kid but hes rud and maks me cleen the dog"

"omg hoe cud he" sed satin, caresin his hornes "he thorwd me out 2 jessus"

"our livs suck" sez jessus emoly

"no jessus, we can sttar a new livs together we hav a millin and 2 ded soles to b emo with also a hot tub of fire" satin eplanes "i was salt b4 2, but liv is good hear"

jessus and satin almot toch hands but they stopp them elves bc godd get mad at thegays


	4. Chatper 4: no homo

jessus and satin had became bffs. thay did everting together. thy chose wut jobs the newly ded soles did (emo cok, emo servint or emo cleener) and thy swom in the firy hottub togethet. thy alway wore close tho cuz jessus was to modesst and satin had a cule badace suut.

"jessus" sed satin 1 day "ily"

"ily2" sed jessus, thinkin hoe gud it wud b 2 kiss him

jus than godd caled "hello jessus? i herd that and ur grounded"

"I DONT EVIN LIV WIT U DAD" scrams jessus and slamms done the phone

godd caled AGAN "jessus urnot alloed 2 gay!"

"FINE THAN SATIN, I LUV U AND NO HOMO" jessus shreeks

"NO HOMO 2 U 2" satin agres

"gud boy, ily my str8 sun" sez godd and hags up

jessus and satin both criyied in bedd that nite cuz they wantd the homo


	5. Chpater 5: fadther drama

the nest day there was a ding dong

jessus opened the hill dore and their was godd

"daddddddddddddddd noooooooooooo" wines jessus "im nut goin home"

"i wasnt gona ask u that" godd sez awkerd "ummmm u havet anserwed my cals …"

"sory me an satin were sleping" jessus eplanes

"TOGETHERE?" god scraeam

"no! therirs lots of a beds in hill"

"we hav moor in havin" godd sez

"dadd u dont get it … i cat liv lik this anymor" jessus sed criying

it was vary drama


	6. Chapter 6: hottob suprise

that nite satin desides 2 mak jessus hapy

"kjessus i hav a supresse 4 u" he sed

"omg wow lool" sed hessus "wut is it{"

"i cant tel u yet" satin sezz convering jessususss eys and leeding him done 2 the hottubs

jessus opeined his eys and gasepd cuz satin mad the hottubs loke like jessuss fave place the dessert

"also i brot u a caramal milkchake" satin givs it 2 him "wanna swom?"

thy sit in the hottube ad jessus pants

"im 2 hot" so he finally takes off his robes and their harry men legs tutch

"sory satin, no homo" sez jessus saddly

"yes homo" satin sed. jessus scareamd


	7. Chapter 7: much hommo

"i - i want homo 2!" jessus sez exited and huggs satin rly hardly SAtin rips off his emo suut and is nakd

"i cat pratend anymor" jessus sed "i cat evin look at a vageena i lik the oter thing"

"same thas y godd throed me out" satin esplains "butt i thik ily wit much homo"

"much homo" jessus agres

they did the homo in the nakd in the hottube


	8. Chpter 8: evin moor of a rebule

the nest day it hapened RING RING GODD IS CALING

"omg godd what evin is it u clingy ass" jessus sed angry

"i want u 2 know that cuz im santa, i see u wen ur sleping"

"ok" sed jessus

"epeshaly wen ur sleping with satin" godd screeeeeeeeeeeeeems

"omg dadther, were in so mutch of luv ok, were alowe d 2 hottube if we want" jesssus sed angry "i left ur howse and now im in his ok its fine m8"

"i dont the gayts" godd sed

"well i am the gays so their" jessus sed and closed the phone so hardly

"burn" satin aproves


	9. Chapter 9: merryedge crysis

satin fell done "oh no jessus i drooped my walet"

"here satin" jessus sez handing hhim the walet, but satin attax …

… with a ring!

"omg i do" jessus sez

"u mat kiss" sez the man

"same af" sez satin and kises jessus

godd apers "u cant gay merry in hill i roted all the rools"

jesssus sez inaproprate "fuk oof"

ggasp


	10. Chatper 10: new babie

(if u forgotted the las chapter had a cliff hanger)

"jessus thas a bad word ur gronded" sed godd angry "u ppop head"

"no im nut, im a adult" sed jessus madd af "ur a pissy dumfock"

godd starrs criyin "wut did i do rong 2 my babie"

"im nut a babie" jessus sez

"fuk u jessus i want a better babie. helo angle?" he sez 2 the fone "find me anoter mary 2 rais the babie til it gets less gross and barfy"

"k" sed angle and went

"haha fuk u" sed godd and disapeered


	11. Chapter 11: emo coks

jessus and satin got 2 be hapi 5ever bc godd wuz inoring them with his new babie plan. sady bad things hapened agaon

"jessus the emo coks are havin a shortedge" satin sed sad "i need more emo cok"

"oh no" jessus sed "i luv eetin frum the emo cok"

"we gotta get da emo soles" satin sed "a millin and 1 isnt enouf 2 giv us as meny emo coks we need"

so thay went up to eart


	12. Chapter 12: where da emos at

"hel emo" satin sed

the mann juged him "y do u have hornes"

"its were i bupped my hed fallin outta havin" satin eplaned

juge juge juge frum da mann

"fine bich" satin left "if he wuz a emo he wud udderstand"

they sawe a laddy "hel emo 2" sed jessus hidin satin cuz thay cudnt deel wit all dis

"what are thooooose" she sed

"ok no" sed jessus

"y do u hav a rob" a kidd assed "ru jessus"

"no loek, my rob is emo" he shoowed the kidd how riped his nees were

"oh ok hav fun da emo" the kidd sed and leeved

"wut r we gona do" assed satin 2 jessus


	13. Chapter 13: rude af non emo

"ok were gona disguys as emos" satin sed "and it wont evin be a lie cuz were the emo kings"

"truuuuu" sed jessus wit exacly 5 u's

thay dreseed lik emos

"omg we so emo" jessus yeled

"and gay" satin scraemeed

"also godd sux" jessus caled

a non emo smakked him "escuse me godd made my kitten niot die"

"ashally that wuz the angle, godd mostly just eats da fodes" jerssus eplaned

"ur a stopid" the non emo yaled and fite


	14. Chapter 14: emo metes

"stopppppp" wines a emo "dont fite hav a peece"

"omg my life sux" sed emo 2

jessus stoops fitein the non emo "helo fello emos im uhhhh …" he reelized he wuz 2 famus 2 say "jessaca but cale me jessus cuz its moor emo"

" guy caled jessaca" sed emo 3

"shutup" sed jessus "dont be a rude this is my bf satin"

"hey" sed satin "im nammed after the reel satin"

"wanna go be emo wit us" sez emo 1

"omg ya les b emo"


	15. Chapter 15 new emo coks

autors not: i wuz on hitus 4 a bit cuz of bulleying on dis site n my mom sed i had 2 dectivat :( butt shes stoped waching me inernet hstory so im bak :))))

"can we ricroot u 4 emo coks" jessus assed

"ya" sed emo 1

"ya" sed emo 2

"ya" sed emo 3

"yay" sed satin so hapi now he had his emo coks

all da emos becum bffs wit satin and jessus

then emo 2 and 3 becum gay togathere

emo 1 is emo bout it

"its ok emo 1" jhessus sed cuz he wuz so carring


	16. Chapter 16: fel outta havin

autors note: sry 4 the long wate but i woz deeling wiv haters

1 day godd had his babie

"im a reel bro" jessus sed hapi and visated havin

"u cant cum in" sed godd agnry

"any1 who lived goodly can cum" jessus sed cuz he new the rools of havin and puut his legg on da border

"EMO GAY ALERT" it scramed and jessus fel outta havin

he got emo that he cud never see the babie, butt than he reelisd godd didnt want it yet cuz it was still a barf so jessus cud go see his half babie siblin


	17. Chapter 17: da familie

"helo im jessus" he sez 2 the momm of the babie

she does a juge "den y u so emo"

"im livin wit my bf satin done in hill" he eplaned "its fun & gay"

she lets jessus in

insid thers a shrin 2 satin wit all his sexxy pics on da walls

"omg" sez jessus "dadi"

"godd sed dat cuz u turned a bad wit a gud momm, my babie wud turn a gud wit a bad momm, butt joks on him cuz satin is da onli gud in da world" da babie momm sez

her gay gf cums outta da bedrom "who is eeeet"

"jessus" sez da momm

her gay gf scrams

"no hes gay 4 satin" sez da momm

"o den he can meat the babie!" da gay gf throes a rainbow explodeingsion "u have a sisser now, her nam is mizte"

jessus gos in da bedrom its a bsdm lare wit ranebows "were da babie" he sez da momms shoe him da closet

"omg" he sez at da emo crib in da closet "so cutee"

da babie wuz a emo wit a barf stain on da fase, da emo hare over a eye and a eyeliier

"wer gona rase a emo babie cuz i want a emo 4 mi kidd, if shes not a emo im gona giv her up 2 her dadd" da momm sez

"no i wud tak her" sed jessus cuz he knew that godd SUKKED so hardly

"butt ur a emo? ur part o the familly now" sez gay gf and dey hugs


	18. Chapter 18: fite

"da emo familie is SO GUD u shud meat them satin" jessus sez careesin his bf

"ya jessus we need da emo coks" satin sez hapi

jessus chocks on SO MENY food peces "there not emo coks? there ppl they can cok 4 us wen there ded"

"we mad the other emos deds" satin argood

"WUUUUTT" jessus cris "im a gud boi i never wanted 2 mak a deth"

"thay sed ok" satin sed "and ur new familie wud 2 thay worshp me so hardly"

"i dont want them 2 die i want mizte 2 be a livin"

"butt if we mak her a emo cok godd wud nut hav her"

jessus fliped the tabel "fuk oof satin dont kil mi familie"

"fuk u 2" satin sez wit da foods all overr his boody cuz jessus fliped them on him

"u wish" jessus sed emoly n sleeped alone that nite satin criiyed in his bed cuz no homo hapeined


	19. Chapter 19: hello

the nest day jessus wuz gone

satin criyiyed so emoly "helo jessus? ily bae and cum out"

"he left" sed a emo cok

satin ruuns 2 the havins normaly hes nut alowed butt 4 jessus he does it

"JESSSUS CUM OOT" he scrams so hardly and jessus lookin emoly out the window

"HELLO FROM THE OTTER SIDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" satin sings but its not a emo muzic so jessus doesnt lissen

"godd giv me bak ur son" satni cris

"no" sez godd satin goes a emo


End file.
